The Day After

        Ok, the dust is settling, though some still look forward to some kind of re-count, if only for tradition’s sake, and we have a new president, and he’s not white! This is nothing short of... well, you know. Everyone’s already said it, so I’ll assume you know (it rhymes with mistoric). But America’s shiny new black president is not the only news, oh my no. Voters in California have once again voted to deny gay couples the right to get married, but this time they went ahead and made it official with a constitutional amendment. I say there is more yet to be done in the cause of protecting marriage. We can’t let the gays settle down. That would mean we would have to change our image of homosexuals as drug addled, Satan worshipping sex addicts with the power to turn straight people gay just by looking at them! If they start getting married it will be that much harder to justify being so afraid of them. We can’t let that happen. Don’t you know that every time a gay couple gets married and angel gets sodomized. It’s in the Bible, look it up.
        I know that many heterosexuals who only got married to prove that weren’t gay, if gays can get married then no one will believe that they’re straight. What would be the point? Besides, I don’t want to do any thing that homosexuals do, they always look so much doing it, why do you think I don’t wear Abicromby & Fitch? But that’s not the point, the point is that gays are amoral heathens, and that’s how we like them, and the very concept of matrimony is not strong enough to handle that kind of people. I am especially grateful for this outcome for personal reasons. When California fist defined marriage as a union between and a woman, my wife and I could not keep our hands off of each other, we went at it like we’d just been released from prison, so glad were we to have that issue finally sorted out for us. When the State Supreme Court overturned the new definition, we began to drift apart, no longer able to understand why we got married. I mean, sure, we are madly in love and want to share the rest of our lives with only each other, but that’s why the gays want to get married! Ewww! After last nights vote I feel my fragile manhood becoming turgid with vitality. I think we might have some lovin’ in the near future. Fingers crossed!
        I would like say something else here about California. People don’t always understand California. Most folk outside the Eureka state think of its residents as gang banging minorities and syphilitic hippies all living off of the government or Zionist movie studio executive polluting the minds of right thinking, christian Americans, but they’re more than just that, they are innovators. No other state in the union continues to find such new and exciting solutions for discriminating against people who are not the same. California has had laws prohibiting the marriage of whites to minorities, and let’s not forget the internment camps, but they did not just rest on their laurels. No, they found a new way to keep people from thinking they are human beings. It should be no surprise that to find new ways to hate people that are different, America looks to the West. Congratulations California, you have done more than your part to make sure that gay people remain single and unattached. Way to go.
        And congratulations America, hopefully our new Executive will lead us to a better future where everyone will feel that they can make a difference in their lives and the live of others, and will actually make the sacrifices needed to bring about change. I wish the best of luck to the President Elect, and if he ever needs some ideas, California is waiting by the phone.

TIll next time, keep your hands above the covers.

Dr. X